I can feel the pain come and go, like ticks of a clock. I often think of the time before I was diagnosed with soft tissue sarcomas. That was a time of joy and health; I could do whatever I wanted, when I wanted. But ever since that fateful day, my life has been in limbo.
The pain it brings is a reminder that there is no return to normalcy. It’s a reminder of my constant losses, from treatments to missed days with my family. I’m reminded of how much I’ve lost to this disease, and how uncertain the future is.
My despair is only made worse by the feeling of helplessness. Sure, I’m doing my best to fight the disease and make the most of my time here on Earth, but I know that in the end, I’m likely to succumb to its clutches. I just hope that I can leave something good behind when my time is up, something that will make a difference in the world.
But for now, I just have to take it day by day and hope that the pain will soon subside. All I can do is focus on the little joys in life and hope that I can find some relief, no matter how short-lived it may be. I’m determined to do my best to make the most of my life, in spite of the challenges that soft tissue sarcomas have brought.